Despite their use of the name Baptist (which they are able to use because there's no authority in Baptist life that can take it away from them), they make virtually every other religious person in the world angry. In unprecedented agreement, churches from across the entire conservative-liberal spectrum revile the group and say clearly, "We are nothing like them." But after the book I just finished, I'm not convinced we're as different as we'd like to think.
1) Retreating into dogmatic certainty when our beliefs are successfully challenged. Lauren says that raising questions is tantamount to trouble-making and back-sliding in the WBC. Perhaps the clearest example is when she posed a question to Fred Phelps through his daughter Shirley. Fred had no answer, and Lauren was promptly berated by both of them for stirring up trouble. Yes, the Phelps represent an extreme, but the difference is only one of degree. I've seen it over and over in other settings. Many Christians will initially engage in a discussion with someone who believes differently from them and might use standard methods of reasoning, but as soon as the other person says something the Christian has no response to, the Christian shuts off debate and spouts off some religious certainty. I myself have had many discussions with people who simply refuse to see or engage evidence that doesn't bolster their case. For the Phelps, their beliefs determine what reality is, instead of the other way around. But are we that much different?
2) Squaring off religious life into its own little corner. Lauren confirms in her book something I had heard from teachers and lawyers who work with members of the Phelps family. In most areas of life, the Phelps are quite normal and even pleasant. Many of the adults are lawyers, and they work for their clients well and professionally . The Phelps grandchildren get along fine with the other children in public schools and even have friends. You wouldn't even know they're different but for the fact that they don't say the pledge or participate in holiday celebrations. Fitness is a big thing for them and several are runners. In fact, all the Phelps, adults and children alike, are incredibly hard-working and do everything well. But when it's time to go to church, have Bible study, or form a picket line, it's like someone flips a switch and they're as mean as snakes. Lauren says that when she was in high school, she and another girl would go through their school day normally, but when the bell rang, they would pull our their signs and picket the school as their peers went home. It's almost as if they have a thick partition between their religious activities and the rest of their lives. But so do we! Yes, the Phelps represent an extreme, but the difference is only one of degree. According to surveys, a majority of Christians who attend church services never mention or even think about their faith during the week and can't give an answer as to how their faith impacts their work and daily lives. The Phelps do what they believe is their duty for God, and then promptly pack up and blend in. But are we that much different?
3) Assuming divine protection and then having a crisis of faith when tragedy strikes. The Phelps consider themselves God's only elect and by virtue of that status they clearly don't expect their close family members to experience the kind of hardships they see elsewhere and peg as God's judgement. Lauren tells the story of when Shirley Phelps' son Josh decided to leave the church, the first of her 11 children to do so (two of her daughters later left in early 2013). Lauren writes, "I had never seen [Shirley] so upset and torn apart. She was completely beyond composure, bawling insanely and blaming herself. 'Why me? What have I done? Why did he leave me?' she asked desperately." In my work as a pastor, I see many people struggle through many different things, but the most profound struggles I see are in those who had previously lived with the assumption that anything could be prayed away or that God gives special protection to people of faith. Yes, the Phelps represent an extreme, but the difference in only one of degree. Life can jump up and bite anyone at anytime, and unfortunately many Christians have been promised otherwise. I've always wondered: what exactly do we mean when we say "prayer works?" It works like how my coffee machine works? I press a button and it starts to go? I certainly understand the psychological need to believe that we will somehow be afforded special protection. I'm not interested in robbing people of this belief, but it's hard to watch the crisis of faith it produces when things don't pan out. A good place to start is to remember that the purpose of our relationship with God is our own transformation, and this often takes place as a result of--not in the absence of--our pain and hardships (Romans 5:3-4).
Here's the real test and here's how a church can make sure it's fully differentiated from the Phelps: how we treat outsiders. You see, what Lauren says in the book about how the Phelps treat each other actually has some very admirable aspects to it. She writes that the church made an inspiring first impression on her:
Everybody was super-accommodating, bending over backward to lend a hand. They were the most welcoming, organized bunch of people I had ever met. They started helping us unload the trailer and the truck, and they had everything inside and unpacked in less than two hours. They had already stocked the refrigerator and the pantry with all kinds of dry goods and supplies...I soon found out the kids and teens did all the landscaping and garden work. In two hours, we could mow, blow, and bag the entire communal property and all the yards. No one complained. Kids were expected to help; it was part of the discipline the church instilled. The sense of community was really impressive. When someone needed something, everybody was always there at a minute’s notice.They've got the Christian community thing figured out better than most churches. But they treat outsiders like dirt, not caring what happens to them and rejoicing in their pain as righteous judgments of God. As Jesus said, anybody can love those who love them; that's easy (Luke 6:32). The real test is how we treat outsiders; whether we value others above ourselves (Philippians 2:3) and whether we are willing to actually enter into the pain and struggle of others and walk beside them (Galatians 6:2). In the same way that the test of democracy is not just the majority getting its way (even failed states can accomplish that), the test of true, Christ-like, non-Phelps Christianity is who we welcome (Hebrews 13:2) and to whom we extend the love we have for each other.
